We live in a post-feminist world and somehow, somewhere, perhaps we buy into the idea that we have to be tough to succeed. Many times, we shut the soft, vulnerable part of us down – locking it away – and create a harder, more intellectual exterior. We lose touch with our feelings and our truth.
Emotional numbness is a common response to overwhelm and overload, and sometimes we even become so numb we barely even comprehend what we like and dislike, and, when faced with a simple question of what we are feeling, we don’t know how to answer.
I’ve had times in my life like when I almost needed the emojis they show to children in nursery/kindergarten so they can point at the emoji which best reflects how they are feeling … 😁😍😭😔😡🤯🤒🥳.
Often when you’ve been through trauma in your life, (and love), you can become emotionally detached/disengaged and you need to grow awareness of your feelings.
Spending some time getting to know yourself and your feelings better is a wonderful thing to do and a wise investment of energy, because the more we ‘know’ ourselves – the more of our gorgeous self there is available to connect and bond with our loved ones.
Sometimes ‘unlearning’ patterns of behaviour can be hard. If you’re an eldest child, or a type A personality ( aka a ‘D’ on the DISC analysis) and very driven or tenacious, you probably naturally spend lots of time in your masculine energy – so learning to lean into your feminine energy will take a lot of practice.
Perhaps even just absorbing this content is part of your journey. Unlike women, (who can’t help but assess men on the kind of job they have and their ability to provide, because they are biologically programmed to seek security) men don’t care if you’re absolutely smashing it in your career and driving a fabulous car. What they DO care about is how warm you are, and the extent to which you’re in touch with your feminine softness, your warmth.
Your ability to FEEL DEEPLY, without running away from those feelings, or letting a single one of them run the show – this is a surprising attraction trigger for a man. To a certain extent, it’s as if they want to be inside you, to experience you – not just in terms of sexual intimacy – but to understand how life feels for you as a woman. It also makes you a safe space for a man to come towards.
To explore lots more attraction triggers and work through a blue-print to creating better relationship patterns, you can ask me about my new relationship coaching programme, Rewrite Your Love Story.
